Why Your ‘Treat Yourself’ Coping Strategies Are Low-Key Making Things Worse
None of us are immune to having a shitty week, month, or even year. And after a rocky few months (not exactly the thriving start to 2025 I’d hoped for), I’ve found myself leaning deeply into rituals. These small but powerful practices help ground me, spark joy, and prop me up when the temptation to crumble is all too real. I used to default to Netflix, scrolling, and takeaways, thinking they were helping but I realised they were often numbing, not restoring, me. That's where rituals come in.
What Is A Ritual?
A ritual is a kind of ceremony, a set of actions performed in a certain order. But honestly, call it whatever you want, a habit, a practice, or just something in your ‘support toolbox’. For me, rituals are my go to actions that prop me up when I’m feeling low and help me maintain balance when I’m feeling good.
Why Are Rituals Important?
When life gets overwhelming, our natural instinct is often to retreat, numb ourselves, or simply get through the day. This might look like treating yourself to Netflix, raiding the cupboards, or a scroll (all valid coping mechanisms in moderation!) but let’s be real, these ‘treats’ often leave us feeling just as drained.
Rituals, on the other hand, offer stability. They create small, intentional moments of care that help anchor you when everything else feels chaotic. They don’t need to be elaborate or time consuming - just something that brings you back to yourself.
Think of rituals as:
· A lifeline when you’re struggling.
· A reset button for your mind and body.
· A way to build resilience so that when hard times come (and they will), you already have tools in place to help you through.
Over time, rituals rewire your brain for self-support, making it easier to bounce back when things feel tough.
My Top 5 Rituals
1. Getting Back To My Body – My mind often takes off at full speed, leaving my body behind, wandering aimlessly, pretending to be an adult. Sound familiar? At least once a day, I make it a point to slow down and fully reconnect. My go tos: running, yoga, breathwork, and meditation. You might prefer a cold water dip, dancing in your kitchen, or playing a sport. Have fun figuring out what works for you - your body will thank you.
2. Gratitude – SO simple yet so effective. Each week I write down one thing I’m grateful for and pop it in a jar that I open at the end of each year. When life feels heavy, this tiny ritual shifts my mindset. Gratitude doesn’t have to be deep or profound - some of my favourites last year included: The sun is shining. I went outside today. I made an exceptionally good veggie spag bol.
3. Getting Into Nature – My non negotiable. Somewhere green or by the sea for me. Away from cars (and people!). Instant mind fog remover. Bonus points if I take my shoes off and walk barefoot!
4. Connecting With Others – Science tells us that hugging someone literally triggers happy chemicals in the brain and so does smiling. Human connection matters. It doesn’t have to be deep or dramatic; even a quick chat with your favourite barista, taking an extra moment to connect with a colleague, or genuinely thanking someone can shift your energy in an instant.
5. Share - I know, cliché alert, but it’s true - ‘a problem shared really is a problem halved’. Sharing doesn’t just mean talking to others. Journaling? That’s sharing with yourself. Chatting with your mum? That counts too. Ever tried a Women’s or Men’s Circle? Life changing!
My Top Tips For Creating Lasting Rituals
1. Lean On Structure – Keeping new habits going can feel overwhelming, so weave them into what already works for you.
· Early riser? Set your alarm 10 minutes earlier and pop on a meditation.
· Struggle to get out on your own? Grab a friend or join a local hiking/running group.
· Drive to work? Once a week, try walking part of the way or take the bus so you can journal or read.
Take the structure you have and let it prop you up whilst you figure this all out.
2. Share Your Plans – Accountability is magic. When someone else knows what you’re aiming for, they can nudge you forward when motivation dips. This can often be the difference between doing and avoiding.
3. Give It A Why – A ritual without meaning can often feel like a chore. Ask yourself: What do I gain from this? How does this support me? When you why is strong enough, the how become easier.
4. Set Yourself Up For Success – If an hour a day isn’t realistic, don’t force it. Start with five minutes. Small wins add up fast and before you know it, you’ve built something that actually sticks. P.s. Flexibility is everything and life happens. Missed a day? That’s ok. Aim for consistency over perfection.
5. Check In And Adapt – What works right now might not work forever. Every few months, ask yourself: Is this still serving me? If it’s not, tweak it. Rituals will often evolve as you do.
At the end of the day, rituals aren’t about fixing everything, they’re about holding you steady. Whether you’re flying high or just trying to make it through the day, having these small, supportive actions in your back pocket can make all the difference.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit” - Aristotle
